Amends

Make it a rule of life never to regret and never look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can’t build on it; it is good only for wallowing in.-Katherine Mansfield

Looking back and regretting are much different than examining, making amends, and moving on. When we constantly revisit our past and regret, we are indulging in the self-centered activity of beating up on ourselves over the mistakes in our past.

All of us have made errors in judgment and taken missteps. When we have operated out of the haze of guilt and under the illusion of perfection, we have done much harm to ourselves and others. We cannot build a life on guilt, shame and regret. We indeed can only wallow in them!

If you need to make amends, then by all means do so. You and the other party will both benefit. Be sincere and heartfelt, but do not slip into blame and self flagellation – that does not help anybody.

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