Tag Archives | attitude
happiness

You are Looking in the Wrong Place for Happiness

happinessWe are the source of our own happiness.

Our happiness resides within us. No one and nothing else can give it to us. We may try to find all kinds of things outside ourselves to fill us up and make us happy, but they are all temporary, short-lived band-aids.
We think success, reputation, respect, money and status will do it for us. But they won’t. They’re nice, but they’re not the answer. We still have the feeling that something is missing. This does not mean that a happy person cannot have all the trappings of success. You can.
Happiness, however, is not a result of these achievements and outward possessions and symbols of success. Happiness only dwells within and when we seek it somewhere outside of ourselves, it only becomes more elusive.

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Emergency (Philippine TV program)

Life Isn’t An EMERGENCY!

Emergency (Philippine TV program)

Image via Wikipedia

So many of us live from one crisis to the next! We have become so accustomed to crises and deadlines that we feel lost and lazy if we are not putting out some kind of fire. In fact if we are really honest, there’s something intense and thrilling about handling a crisis.

But we take life, ourselves and our goals so seriously that we forget to have fun along the way, and we forget to cut ourselves some slack. We beat ourselves up we can’t meet our self- created targets.

The first step to adopting a less anxious mindset is in the willingness to admit that in most cases we are creating our own emergencies. Life will usually go on if things don’t go according to plan.

I have often wondered if there is another way to live life that might be a little less exhausting. Even though we are invigorated by handling these crises, they often do leave us feeling drained and exhausted. Could it be that these things don’t simply happen to us? Perhaps we need to consider if we have a hand in their creation?

It’s helpful to keep reminding ourselves that life isn’t usually an emergency.

 

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simple

Why Do We Make it So Hard? Simple is Best

simple

We seem to have this innate need to make everything harder than it needs to be. We over-think, over-analyze and over-do. Perhaps we muse that if our solutions are more complex, they are somehow inherently more valuable.

I think we have it completely upside down!

My wisdom - SIMPLE IS BEST

Simple ideas are easily understood.

Simple solutions are easily implemented.

Simple changes are the most achievable.

 

That’s it. Why make it difficult if it doesn’t have to be?

 

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What if Your Ordinary Was Actually Extraordinary?

We are our most potent at our most ordinary. And yet most of us discount our “ordinary” because it is, well, ordinary. Or so we believe. But my ordinary is not yours. – Patti Digh

As I have mentioned before on this blog, I have been following along with the Trust30 writing challenge, although I think that they should have called it a “thinking challenge.” There are many who do not publically share their written answers, but are instead quietly pondering the prompts in the privacy of their own minds.

Patti’s piece really struck a chord with me. (Read the entire commentary here.) Too often we get caught up in comparisons and expectations. We are so quick to judge and condemn our work and ourselves.

And what are we using as the yardstick?

Other people’s accomplishments or perceived skills.

External expectations thrust upon us by a misguided or misinformed public.

Internal stories, arbitrary standards that don’t really fit who we are.

What if our “ordinary” is actually exceptional? What if what we view as our normal, everyday behavior, thoughts and skills are truly extraordinary to the world at large?

We will never know if we don’t put ourselves out there. If we don’t pursue that idea we have, if we don’t share our wisdom, if we don’t offer our talents to others we will never truly know what we are capable of.

I challenge you all…

Be your ordinary, not my ordinary or anyone else’s and see what happens!

 

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Stop Complaining So Much!

Learn to accept in silence the minor aggravations, cultivate the gift of taciturnity, and consume your own smoke with an extra draft of hard work, so that those about you may not be annoyed with the dust and soot of your complaints.  ~William Osler

To complain according to dictionary.com means to express dissatisfaction, pain, uneasiness, censure, resentment, or grief; find fault: He complained constantly about the noise in the corridor.

In my experience, real-life occurrences of complaining are more about whining, moaning and *itching about something or someone that has upset or ticked us off, but which we really have no intention of doing anything about. So why bother?

Just for today, commit to cease complaining. You may be surprised if you pay attention, by how often we complain to others or in our heads. Notice how much calmer and happier you are. Now use all of that energy you saved to move forward and do something positive in your life.

If you are interested in learning more, read Complaint Free World by Will Bowen.

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Simple Strategies to Regain Life Balance

My guest post on Producteev.com.

Maintaining a healthy life balance is not only crucial for happiness and well-being; it can be advantageous to your productivity and success as well. A well-balanced person is better equipped to focus their attention and energy on achieving their goals, accomplishing meaningful actions and moving forward.

Each of us has different life situations, many things pulling us in different directions and a whole host of other factors that we collectively call our lives. Despite these dissimilarities, we all seem to be feeling the same challenge to make it all work somehow.

So, what can you do to regain a positive work-life balance? Or maintain that equilibrium once you find it? How about trying some of these strategies that have worked for others!

  • Shut it off – Disconnect on the weekend, at least for one day or a few hours each night. Step away from the computer, turn off the phone and give your brain a rest. Yes, you can do it!
  • Health first – It seems like we’re beating a dead horse sometimes, but it really does make a difference in the quality of our lives and our work if we: get enough sleep, drink more water, fit in some activity and eat a bit healthier.
  • Cut back – It goes without saying that if your life is too full of the wrong things (sometimes even too much of the right things) you will never be able to pull it all together and find your balance. Ruthlessly trim activities that are not absolutely necessary or do not add value to your life.
  • Relationships matter – Make time for your family, spend time with friends and get to know the people around you.
  • Say goodbye to “Negative Nancy” – Minimize contact with people that are negative, complainers, whiners or have bad attitudes. You know who I mean…you do not need other people’s junk dragging you down. Surround yourself with positive, supportive, can-do people whenever possible.
  • Get quiet – Time alone is probably the hardest thing to do for the typical overworked, overwhelmed, busy individual, but it is crucial for lowering stress, increasing happiness and fostering creativity. Meditate, journal, draw, practice yoga or simply sit quietly for a few minutes each day and do absolutely nothing. I dare you to give it a try!
  • Soak up the world - Take a walk and notice what’s going on around you, attend a performance of some kind, play amateur photographer, visit a new town or try being a tourist in your own.
  • Expand your mind – Read a book that sparks your interest, listen to uplifting music, take a class, learn to paint, try something new that you’ve always wanted to learn.
  • Indulge – Get a massage, a pedicure or a facial. It doesn’t have to be expensive; a glass of wine, a special kind of coffee or tea, a wonderfully scented candle or beautiful flowers.
  • Reach out – Join a community organization, volunteer, get involved in the larger world community. It seems counterintuitive to the average person living the typical hectic existence, but doing something to help others most often adds even more to your life.
  • Laugh – Have some fun, find your sense of humor, subscribe to a daily joke or get a tear-off calendar. Nothing makes the world feel right again as fast as a good old-fashioned belly laugh.

 

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Are You Living Consciously?

What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday, and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow: Our life is the creation of our mind.– Buddha

Do we live our days to the fullest? Or are we to caught up in the ‘daily grind’ of just getting by and forget to appreciate the blessings that we have been given. Do we pay attention to our words and actions; and the effects they have on the people around us and the world in general?

When you start to live consciously, you expand on all levels: your mind, body, and emotions. You will become aware of things that were previously unseen, unknown, unrecognized or unappreciated. Your actions will become mindful as you learn to understand how your behavior affects the physical, the immaterial and the emotional state of yourself and those you interact with. By Living Consciously you will soon be able to see the truth more clearly, and learn how to take complete responsibility for the choices you make — enabling you to reach your full potential and live a life of wonder and marvelous adventure.

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Are You Ready for Change?

“It’s not that some people have willpower and some don’t. It’s that some people are ready to change and others are not.” ―James Gordon

Are you ready to make changes in your life? To move to a  more fulfilling, productive and purposeful type of existence?

Don’t be ashamed to answer no! This may not be the right time in your life. You may not be ready to examine what you have been doing. You may not have a burning desire to accomplish something more than you have so far. You may not feel that it’s important to know where you’re going in life or sort out the meaning and purpose behind your life and work.

That’s OK. Really. Just briefly consider that clinging to your old habits and attitudes may be costing you more than you think. It can be physically and mentally freeing to let it all go and try something different.

Consider a career shift if you don’t feel fulfilled.

Examine your family roles and dynamic.

Analyze your routines and habits – both personal and professional.

Evaluate the health of your relationships.

Assess or re-assess your goals and priorities.

Look at your health patterns.

Move toward a mindset of generosity, kindness, forgiveness and gratitude.

You may find many areas where it’s time for a change. What would you like to do about it? Change is inevitable. Why not make it a considered change rather than a forced one?

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Have You Lost Your Perspective?

A photo of The Thinker by Rodin located at the...

Image via Wikipedia

Little things can mean a lot, especially when we focus of all our attention on them, obsess and ruminate about them, and can’t seem to let them go.  Sometimes we just keep turning disturbing thoughts over and over in our minds, believing that we will surely figure out a solution if we just think about them long enough and hard enough.

When we engage in this kind of behavior, it is a sure sign that we’re thinking ourselves to death.  When I do this obsessing, I know that I have lost perspective.  I suddenly become the center of the universe, and my problems are the only ones that exist.

It always helps me to step back and realize that whatever problem I am having is probably not of universal proportions.  This perspective helps me to see that I am powerless over my crazy thinking, and that it is making my life insane.

Ask yourself:

Will this matter in 10 years? 10 months? 10 days even?

Then give it the perspective it deserves!

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Why Are We Working So Hard Anyway?

Last week, one morning,   I was sitting on my comfy couch, snuggled up in my electric throw, sipping a cup of my favorite tea and burning one of my much-loved scented candles, when I had a startling thought. I am spoiled! Now, in all my years, I don’t think anyone would have labeled me as spoiled. I firmly believe that I am extremely low maintenance and resilient – at least that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Alas at that moment that simultaneously horrifying and magnificent thought occurred to me.

I admit that I have come to thoroughly enjoy the creature comforts that are available to me and why not? I could go back to a second generation, hand-me down couch, an old knit afghan and plain Lipton tea if I had to, but why should I feel guilty that over the years I have accumulated some beautiful, comfortable and good quality pleasurable items? What good does it do us to work hard and strive to better ourselves if we can’t appreciate the fruits of our labors and the wonderful gifts that flow into our lives?

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