Tag Archives | conflict
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Where is Your Sense of Humor?

By on August 19, 2011 in Happiness, Sanity Savers
Smiling can imply a sense of humour and a stat...

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Where is your sense of humor?

If you’re like me, sometimes you get so wrapped up in the daily grind that you forget to laugh…especially at yourself.

Every day so many things don’t go the way we’d like them to. We can’t control it, we can’t change it; sometimes all we can do is laugh at it. You have to have a sense of humor if you don’t want to be frustrated and angry all of the time. Very few things or situations are worth the aggravation we allow them to cause.

Ask yourself, “Is this really important?” and if it’s not try to find the humor in it.

Don’t take life so seriously!

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Annoyance Triggers

By on February 4, 2011 in Personal Growth, Success
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Inner nag

What are your “annoyance triggers?” What are the little things that bother you on a day-to-day basis? Do loud people or noisy places drive you nuts? People talking on cell phones in restaurants, when your inbox is full again, when people drive too slow or park their cars incorrectly? Is it the rudeness that abounds in today’s society or maybe those annoying soliciting phone calls that hang up just after the answering machine picks up? We all have them and they seem quite rational to us….

We don’t have to allow these minor stressors to affect us in this way. The first step is just to notice them, label them, and assess them if you will. Then take a moment to ask yourself if it is really the “thing” that annoys you or your reaction to it? If you have no control over it, then why do you give it so much power to dictate your mood? The trick is to not allow outside people or situations to sap your peace of the moment.

Life is filled with petty little annoyances. At work, at home, on the street, even with the people closest to us. When you catch yourself becoming annoyed try to re-frame the situation rather than allowing it to interfere with your attention and focus, whether it be on work, your family or enjoying the world around you.

When someone is rude to you, instead of getting irritated, try feeling compassion for them because they are probably unhappy and miserable. When you get those series of tele-marketer hang ups on your voice mail, be glad that’s not your job!

One of the keys to a happy, productive and peaceful life is to not allow other people or situations control your attitude and attention. Breathe and let it go.

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Stop the Negativity

By on January 21, 2011 in Personal Growth
angry finger pointing

Inner nag

Studies show that dwelling on negative thoughts magnifies their power in your mind. This interferes with moving forward as these thoughts get tangled up with truly useful ones. So, try to quiet the negative voices in your head, you know the ones, the if only, the what were you thinking, should have said, should have done, what am I going to do, blah, blah, blah. Give them a name if you want to – I call mine Grace (there’s some history behind that having to do with two nasty women) but you could call yours “Naggy Nancy,” or “Whiny Wendy.” Give it a try, what have you got to lose?

On a serious note, some in the medical field suggest that this is a key reason that more women suffer depression than men. Women are more likely to “overthink,” while men are better at distracting themselves from negative thoughts. This does not let men off the hook, it just means women need to be even more diligent about screening the thoughts we allow ourselves to focus on.

Do you have a name for your inner detractor?

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Beware of Emotional Parasites

By on April 30, 2010 in Life Balance, Personal Growth

We all have them; you know who they are; those people that we encounter that just leave us feeling drained and empty. They may be family, neighbors or co-workers (worse even if it’s a supervisor.) You may cringe when they come into view or let their calls go to voicemail. They are always complaining, whining or gossiping. Nothing is ever their fault; it seems they are always the victim and never the cause. The worst are the ones that are malicious and say bad things behind people’s backs.

You must distance yourself from these emotional parasites and energy vampires as often as you can. We tend to absorb the energy and emotions around us and if we are surrounded by negativity, then it is all the more difficult to remain positive and upbeat. Remember, no one has the power to decide your mental state or happiness, but you. However, the wise person avoids people and situations that are bound to drain us. Kick the parasites to the curb, or at least don’t answer the phone!

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Do You Want to be Right or Happy?

By on April 6, 2010 in Life Balance

angryDo you want to win or be happy? You may not be able to have both! There is only one real question you must face in an argument: do you want to win by demonstrating that you are right, or do you want to cooperatively come to a resolution with your partner?  You can win all the arguments you want, and feel triumphant about always being right, but that doesn’t get you anything but more conflict.  Or you can give up fixating on who won and lost, because in reality, either you both win the argument or you both lose.

Define the situation objectively – What is the conflict really about and what needs to happen?

Clarify the contest – It’s not you against me, it’s you and I against the problem.

This is not easy for me, because I ALWAYS WANT TO BE RIGHT. But I would rather be happy and have a peaceful relationship, so I am working at it right along with all of you.

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