The Gratitude Site » conflict

Where is Your Sense of Humor?

Royale Scuderi — Wed, 19 May 2010 15:58:15 +0000

Where is your sense of humor?

For the record, my husband says I don’t have one – I think I do, it’s just hiding sometimes. I tend to be a very serious, focused person and levity does not come easily to me. My trigger is when I hear myself say, “You’ve got to be kidding me!” I know this means that I am annoyed, frustrated and most likely ruminating that I didn’t get my way. It also means that whatever the cause is; it’s most likely not a big deal or my reaction would have been different – true anger or hurt feelings.

Every day so many things don’t go the way we’d like them to. We can’t control it, we can’t change it; sometimes all we can do is laugh at it. You have to have a sense of humor if you don’t want to be frustrated and angry all of the time. Very few things or situations are worth the aggravation we allow them to cause. Ask yourself, “Is this really important?” and if it’s not try to find the humor in it.

Don’t take life so seriously!

Beware of Emotional Parasites

Royale Scuderi — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 13:32:29 +0000

We all have them; you know who they are; those people that we encounter that just leave us feeling drained and empty. They may be family, neighbors or co-workers (worse even if it’s a supervisor.) You may cringe when they come into view or let their calls go to voicemail. They are always complaining, whining or gossiping. Nothing is ever their fault; it seems they are always the victim and never the cause. The worst are the ones that are malicious and say bad things behind people’s backs.

You must distance yourself from these emotional parasites and energy vampires as often as you can. We tend to absorb the energy and emotions around us and if we are surrounded by negativity, then it is all the more difficult to remain positive and upbeat. Remember, no one has the power to decide your mental state or happiness, but you. However, the wise person avoids people and situations that are bound to drain us. Kick the parasites to the curb, or at least don’t answer the phone!

Do You Want to be Right or Happy?

Royale Scuderi — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 15:22:54 +0000

Do you want to win or be happy? You may not be able to have both! There is only one real question you must face in an argument: do you want to win by demonstrating that you are right, or do you want to cooperatively come to a resolution with your partner? You can win all the arguments you want, and feel triumphant about always being right, but that doesn’t get you anything but more conflict. Or you can give up fixating on who won and lost, because in reality, either you both win the argument or you both lose.

Define the situation objectively – What is the conflict really about and what needs to happen?

Clarify the contest – It’s not you against me, it’s you and I against the problem.

This is not easy for me, because I ALWAYS WANT TO BE RIGHT. But I would rather be happy and have a peaceful relationship, so I am working at it right along with all of you.